im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
