Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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