Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
