I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
