He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
