i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's official drugs can't kill me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
