I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
