So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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