dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
