So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
