everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
