What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
