Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
