I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
