Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
