hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
