I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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