is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
