Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
