I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
