I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
