U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
