No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
