id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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