What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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