let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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