Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
