i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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