some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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