A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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