No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have aggressive nipples.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
