Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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