the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
