i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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