We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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