FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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