First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
my liver is dry heaving
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
