I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
