he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
