HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
