I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
