I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
