the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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