Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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