Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
