I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
