I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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