my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
