If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
