you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
